


Pity

by AmandaPleese



Category: taekook - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Friendship to Lovers, I hate writing angst but, Jealousy, M/M, Sort of happy ending, Unrequited Love, kind of, not really - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 03:06:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9800120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaPleese/pseuds/AmandaPleese
Summary: The rhythmic beeping is calming to him, in a world that he doesn't understand, one so big and vague.They give him some coloring books, paper, crayons, and paint. Tell him that, any time he has a thought, draw. Of course, he thinks this is odd; he is always having thoughts.More often than not, he'd come to his room and see nothing but some brown and orange splotches on the paper."What is this?" He'd ask, looking hopeful every time, but he'd receive the same answer every time,"That's nice! Did you do that?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'd just like to thank my amazing beta over at myshadyperfection on tumblr. Thank you for bringing some febreeze to my trash, I seriously appreciate you a lot.
> 
> Ps. I checked the violence tag because there is some in here, but it's not that bad so.

The rhythmic beeping is calming to him, in a world that he doesn't understand, one so big and vague.

They give him some coloring books, paper, crayons, and paint. Tell him that, any time he has a thought, draw. Of course, he thinks this is odd; he is always having thoughts. 

More often than not, he'd come to his room and see nothing but some brown and orange splotches on the paper.

"What is this?" He'd ask, looking hopeful every time, but he'd receive the same answer every time,

"That's nice! Did you do that?"

.

Jungkook fell in love with Taehyung when he was 15 years old. Of course, he wouldn't realize this until much later, but the boy with the boxy smile whom he had known for almost all his life had him whipped. At first, he hadn't realized he was in love with him. Jungkook had fun with girls for a long time, but it ended when his beloved girlfriend cheated on him and told him that he was worthless and weak. Jungkook remembers Taehyung being there the most, giving him a shoulder to cry on, and mending his poor broken teenaged heart.

"Why did she have t-to do that? I-I l-loved her," he sobs, and Taehyung holds him close, wanting nothing more than to curb stomp the bitch that hurt his Kookie’s and cream.

"I don't know, Kookie, but listen, just because she calls you worthless, doesn't mean you are. She's a bitch, and she wants to make herself feel good by bringing you down. Jungkook, you are sweet, and you're strong, and you deserve the entire world, all right? Forget about her. Just look at me, focus on me. I'm here for you." And Jungkook does look at Taehyung, noticing how bright his smile is, how perfectly chocolate his eyes are, how his tan skin glows even in the darkest of night, and he finds himself never wanting to look anywhere else.

Jungkook closes his feelings off after that, not letting anyone else in. He has a total of 5 friends, and he deems one hand of friends is plenty enough. 

It all started with Taehyung.

.

Taehyung and Jungkook are inseparable, and the closest out of all of Jungkook’s friends. It started when their parents met, Jungkook had been 3 years old, Taehyung 5. Despite the two year age gap, Taehyung includes Jungkook in just about everything.

"Kookie! Let's play ball!" A 5-year-old Taehyung says, voice loud. Jungkook let's Tae take his hand and lead him to his backyard. There's a pacifier in his mouth, and he's unwilling to give it up (not until he turns 5, in which the scary dentist threatens him. Jungkook blames his bunny teeth on the elongated pacifier sucking).

"You gotta hit the ball with this bat, okay? Hold it like this!" Taehyung shows him the proper way to hold it, and Jungkook does what he's told, swinging the bat and sending the ball flying. It hits the fence with a harsh thud, and Taehyung is clapping and cheering on the younger. Jungkook blushes, a smile forming behind the pacifier.

.

"Tae Tae, h-hurts." Jungkook is crying, Taehyung carrying him in his arms. They are 5 and 7 now, and Taehyung had decided to teach the younger how to ride a bike. Jungkook was doing great until he had to stop, then he fell. Hard.

He sobbed as blood splotched his right knee and hand. Taehyung didn't hesitate to run to him, lifting him in his arms and bringing him back to his house. He took the younger to the bathroom, pulling out a first aid kit,

"This is going to sting a little, but it'll be quick, and then it'll be over. Okay?" Taehyung asks, shoving Jungkook's worn pacifier into his mouth. He cleans the wounds, another fit of sobs wracking the younger, then puts cooling cream on them and finally, bandaids. Jungkook immediately stops crying as he feels Taehyung's warm lips press against his knee, then again on his hand,

"Kisses make everything better!" Taehyung had said, and Jungkook shamelessly pointed at his cheek, to which the older leaned forward, and kissed it.

Jungkook smiled big enough for his pacifier to fall out. The younger grabbed Taehyung's cheeks, placing a sloppy, wet kiss directly on his lips. Taehyung's eyes widened, and he immediately became flustered.

"All better!" Jungkook had said, a smile reaching his eyes, and Taehyung couldn't help but laugh because, Jesus, this kid was beyond adorable.

His Kookie.

 

"Hyung, why don't you invite other people to your birthday parties?" Jungkook had asked one year. 

"I don't need anyone else but you, Kookie’s and cream!" He responded. It was true. Six years in a row, Taehyung had only invited Jungkook to celebrate his birthday with him, and nobody else, but they had gotten along just fine. It made Jungkook feel special, but also sad because he felt that Taehyung deserves praise by many on his special day. He keeps a small prayer in his heart, that they'd get more friends.

Jungkook had signed up for a dance class, and a cool guy named Hoseok also happened to be taking it. He managed to break through Jungkook's walls, his bright smile, and enthusiasm reminding Jungkook of Taehyung, who met Hoseok shortly after that.

The tradition broke after they learned that their new friend, Hoseok, had a friend who cooked amazingly. They went to his place one evening and Hoseok introduced them to Seokjin . After an offer to bake a cake for Taehyung's birthday is made, they never look back.

Not even a week later, and they meet Namjoon and Yoongi through Seokjin, who are an interesting pair, but Jungkook knew he hadn't the right to judge anyone, and accepts them all the same.

.

"Are you gonna miss me?" Taehyung asks this question twice. Once when he graduates from middle to high school, (which didn't mean much because they still lived across the street from one another) and again from high school to college. Jungkook was to be left behind by two years, and would be lying if the younger said he wouldn't miss Tae: so he told the truth,

"Of course, Hyung. Don't forget me when you're a fancy college student, and have guys and girls throwing themselves at you left and right." Jungkook said, to which Taehyung smiles,

"Even if they did, I'd only ever pick you, Kookie." Jungkook flushed at this, keeping his head down. Taehyung grabbed one of Jungkook's sweaty hands, kissing the back of it, and holding it for the rest of that night.

.

In hindsight, Jungkook should've known. Should've known that the warm feeling in his stomach whenever he saw Tae was something more, that when he decided that he'd do anything for the man, he had jumped directly into the deep end.

He also should've learned to swim.

.

The group had their first get together after Taehyung began college, about a week after his classes began, and Jungkook was excited to see that boxy smile again. Butterflies flutter in his stomach at the thought, and he feels his face becoming hot.

"What are you blushing about?" Hoseok asks, Jungkook's eyes widening at the question,

"N-Nothing, hyung,"

"Mhm. You sure it's not about... Taehyung coming? Maybe?" Yoongi added in, him and Hoseok smirking knowingly.

"O-Of course not! Why would I blush over t-that?" The other boys snickered before Seokjin told them to leave the youngest alone, a smile on the eldests’ face.

Taehyung ends up being late, which is expected. The boys do not, however, expect him to bring a friend,

"Guys, this is my roommate! His name is Park Jimin! Isn't he so small and cute?" Taehyung had introduced him. Small and cute? Jungkook had thought, slight discomfort settling deep within him, but he refused to admit that it is jealousy. The other boys greeted this Park Jimin warmly, while Jungkook only gives him a slight nod. Taehyung tells Jimin that this is usual, and it didn't mean Jungkook didn't like Jimin.

Boy was he wrong.

.

As time went on, Taehyung spent more time with Jimin, and less with Jungkook. Their take out Tuesday's slowly withered away, the older having canceled on the younger multiple times. Jungkook desperately wants to believe that he is canceling because he is swamped with homework, but his hopes are crushed. 

Him walking home one Tuesday evening after dance practice with Hoseok, only to spot Taehyung and Jimin together in an ice cream shop. They are smiling, laughing, and Jungkook wanted nothing more than to yell at the top of his lungs,

"Pay attention to me! Look at me! Pick me! Choose me! Love me!"

But he doesn't. Who was he: Meredith Grey? He buries the sour feeling in his gut, and continues on home, heartbreaking at the text he shortly receives from Taehyung,

"Can't make tonight, Kookie’s and cream, sorry! Rain check? :-)"

Or the times he does show up, he will leave early. They'd eat, watch a movie, then Taehyung would be gone.

Jungkook doesn't forget that the older used to spend the night,-- them staying up cuddled in each other's arms as they spoke about nothing-- nor does he ignore the burn in his chest as Taehyung gets on the phone with Jimin as he leaves Jungkook’s place.

.

It isn't until Jungkook got into college, that things took a more dramatic turn, so much so, that the others noticed.

"Let's go get bbq. I'm starved." Namjoon offers.

"If we go, you better not touch the stove. I don't want to die tonight." Yoongi grumbles, earning a slap on the shoulder from Namjoon, and a laugh from Hoseok.

"Is Taehyung hyung not coming with us?" Jungkook asks. The room seemed to get a bit quieter after that, Hoseok speaking up,

"He said that he and Jimin had already made plans..." Jungkook's face visibly falls at this, and Hoseok hates telling him these kinds of things. They know about the younger's feelings for Taehyung; they aren't dumb. It seems obvious to everyone except Taehyung.

.

"Jungkookie? Are you feeling okay?" Seokjin asks one evening. They are all out, celebrating Namjoon's birthday, when the oldest noticed that his youngest was awfully quiet.

"'Course, hyung," Jungkook replies.

"You sure? You know you can talk to any of us about any issues you might be having." Jungkook nods at his Hyung's words, eying the empty chair at the end of the table where Taehyung usually sits, a look of longing and sadness in his eyes before he buries the emotions and turns away.

Seokjin notices.

Seokjin doesn't say anything else.

.

Jungkook uses dance to vent his frustrations, finding it satisfying to dance out everything he is feeling. Whether it be a beautifully emotional piece that could rival any Swan Lake, or straight up head banging, Jungkook finds solace.

And then Jimin joins the class.

Jungkook swore that, if there is a God, He was laughing right in his face. 

Jungkook is working on some choreography, (of course, he had gotten it right away. His nickname on campus isn't "golden boy" for nothing) when the smaller boy walks in. Jimin apologizes for being late, then Hoseok chimed in,

"It's okay! Everyone, this is Park Jimin, and he's joining our class!"

Hoseok must've apologized to Jungkook at least a hundred times. The class was supposed to be full, but apparently, Taehyung had begged Hoseok to let Jimin into it. Hoseok had said no at first, but after some persuading, he gave in. Jungkook couldn't stay mad at Hoseok, knowing exactly how hard it is to resist a begging and pouty Taehyung.

"I know, it sucks. I had reservations about letting Jimin in, too, but I did think of you when I made this decision! Maybe it'll end up being a good thing? Hm? Maybe the three of you can hang out together?" Jungkook gives him a look, and Hoseok knew that it is a stretch.

It is also impossible to hate Jimin. No matter how much he wants to, Jungkook just can't hate the smaller man. Jimin is a very nice person, and easy to talk to-- according to other people, as Jungkook doesn't open up to anyone anymore.

He ignores Jimin for the most part, keeps to himself and practices as far away from Jimin as possible. Lately, he notices Jimin side eying him, sometimes even blatantly glaring. Jungkook doesn't quite understand what is wrong, oblivious to everyone else's feelings the majority of the time.

Jungkook doesn't think that, by ignoring Jimin, it could be taken the wrong way.

.

It is when Taehyung comes over one night, when everything comes full circle.

"What are you doing here?"Jungkook inwardly winces at how harsh his own voice sounds when he said that. 

"It's takeout Tuesday, duh!" Taehyung holds up a bag of takeout, a big boxy smile on his face. The younger scratches his arm,

"You have been canceling and asking for rain checks for almost two years now, and I'm working on an essay right now, but alright... I guess I could use a break." Taehyung frowns at this.  
Had he really been canceling for two whole years?

"I'm sorry, Kookie. I just got busy--"

"Busy with Jimin?" Taehyung looks taken aback, but continues,

"Please don't be mad. I brought your favorite." He pouts, giving Jungkook his best puppy face, and the younger man couldn't stay mad even if he wanted to.

"I'm not angry--" and Taehyung is throwing his arms around Jungkook,

"Good! I can't stand the thought of you mad at me. We've been so close all these years; I can't lose you now. You know you mean the world to me, right?" Jungkook flushes at the older's words, nods in response.

The pair eats, watches a movie, talks, and the night is slowly coming to an end, as Taehyung has work the next day and can't sleep over,

"I missed this. I'm glad Hoseok talked me into coming back!" He gave a cute boxy smile, and Jungkook looks at him, confused,

"Hoseok? What do you mean?"

"When I was talking to him about Jimin joining his class, he had mentioned you, and how I'd been neglecting you. I felt sorry-- I still do! He was right. Oh, but speaking of Jimin, he says that he thinks you hate him? What's going on with you?" 

Jungkook feels like he wants to puke. After spending hours with the older, laughing and having a great time, he finally felt like things were falling back into place, but they are really just falling apart.

Taehyung wasn't here because he wants to be, it is because he has to be. Jungkook bets that Hoseok told Tae that he'd let Jimin join the class, if Tae started paying more attention to the youngest again. And even when Taehyung is with Jungkook, it is still all about Jimin. Taehyung had an ulterior motive the entire time.

Taehyung doesn't truly care.

Jungkook abruptly stands up, his eyes beginning to burn as he tries to hold back tears,

"I think you need to go..."

Taehyung looks at him, surprised, "what? Kookie what--"

"Don't you dare call me that!! After all of this, you think you can just waltz back into my life, and everything will be okay. Well, it's not! You left me in your dust years ago, and Jimin took my place. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I say or do, you will never look at me like the way I want you to. You'll never look at me like I do you!" He shouted, tears now falling freely.

"Y-You--" Taehyung began, cut off by Jungkook again,

"Yes, I like you. Fuck, no that's a lie. I love you. I've been in love with you since we were young teens, but I never thought I stood a chance. I always figured you deserved the best, and that was never me. Maybe it's Jimin, I don't know. You were always there, always checking up on me and saying these amazing things. We know everything about each other, and I want nothing more than to call you mine. Here I was, thinking you came to see me, but you're only here because Hobi hyung made you come! You don't see me anymore. You don't see me staring at you, longing for you, wishing you'd look back and remember that I'm here. You don't realize just how much I'd do for you, even now. What does Jimin have that I don't? I'm taller, stronger, faster, I can dance better, sing better, I could go on and on! I've been here since the beginning, and he's been here for a few seconds compared to that, so what is it? Why does he--" 

He chuckles, "the others knew-- I think they always did. How is it that they knew, but you were oblivious?" He sniffled, frustratingly wiping at tears that won't stop falling. Taehyung looks utterly shocked, but also hurt,

"J-Jungkook I'm... I'm so sorry I... Jimin and I just started dating last week I--" Jungkook felt dizzy.

"Get out." Taehyung looks like he could just die, feels like it too, tears filling his eyes,

"Jungkook, please let's just--"

"Get out!!" The youngest shouts. The older hesitates for only a second, a sob threatening to tumble out, before quickly leaving the house.

Jungkook doesn't sleep a wink that night, nor does he go to his classes the next day. His phone goes off like crazy until it finally dies, Jungkook ignoring it every time.

.

Jungkook decided that he can't stay holed up forever. No matter how heart broken he is, Jungkook knows that he can't move on if he stays in bed all day . Moving on: is that even possible? That evening at dance practice, he dances his heart out, finding relief that Jimin isn't there.

That doesn't last long, though. Those Gods are back at it again.

It is nearly the end of practice when Jimin comes in, throws the door open, and ignoring Hoseok's "Hey!" as the door hits the wall harshly, causing a dent. He stomps straight up to Jungkook, points an accusing finger at Jungkook before Jimin even started speaking,

"You've got some nerve. Who the hell do you think you are? What gives you the right to make Taehyung feel like shit, huh? Do you know how much he has cried, and hated himself? Keeps saying things about being the worst person in the world, and I didn't know what happened until he said ‘Jungkook’. You may get to shit on me on the daily, but I draw the line when it comes to my boyfriend. I don't get why people like you so much, honestly I knew you were a piece of shit the moment I saw you. Always ignoring me, staying far away from me. I hope you eat shit for making Taehyung cry the way he has been, for making him feel the way he has been. You're a piece of shit, and you only deserve the worst--" before he can continue, Hoseok is stepping forward, the dance teacher’s face red with anger,

"Hey! Knock it off. What are we, 5? We don't speak to each other like that, especially not in my class. Now Jimin, I let you in this class on particular circumstances, and I can easily kick you out. I will be the first to say, that you have no idea what the hell you're talking about, so calm down. You should be ashamed of yourself, talking to someone younger like that. We are here to teach those younger than us lessons, help them learn from mistakes, not beat them down and yell at them." Hoseok spoke, an eerie anger radiating from him. The class is silent. No one has ever pissed Hoseok off so bad, nor has anyone ever been kicked out of his class.

Jimin's gaze softens, and even though he still holds a fire in his belly, he knows Hoseok is right. Jimin opens his mouth to say something, but is cut short. Jungkook can feel the stares of everyone, and it becomes too much. He can't and won't have someone look down on him again, so he bolts from the room, ignoring the desperate calls of his name.

.

Jimin is right: Jungkook is a shit person. Taehyung doesn't have to love Jungkook; he has the right to love whoever he wants. But the younger had yelled at him, something Jungkook had never done to Taehyung. Jungkook hastily made his way to Taehyung's apartment: he has to apologize. Even though it is a bit further out, he decides to fuck his car and go on foot. The weather is cold, but Jungkook needs the air.

The cold air nips at his skin, and he thinks that he starts crying, but he won't confirm that. He looks up at the stars as he walks, cursing that they could still look so breathtaking during this mess. He wants the pain to go away. He wants to forget everything, wishes he could forget.

He no longer wants to remember how Taehyung brings comfort to him, even when he's mad at the older. Doesn't want to remember his smile, that could restore peace on Earth. Doesn't want to remember all of the times the older would grab the younger’s hand, and warmth would radiate through Jungkook, blushing. He no longer wants to remember the man who has his heart. He finds himself begging the Gods that previously laughed at him for help, the pain becoming too much to bear.

Just this once, take pity on me, and stop laughing. The joke isn't funny anymore.

And they do decide to take pity on him, in the form of a drunk driver swerving to the opposite side of the road, colliding with another car. A different car swerves to avoid the collision; it's headlights finding Jungkook.

Everything goes black.

.

Ironically enough, Taehyung is the first person to arrive at the hospital. He's told that Jungkook has severe injuries, and is currently in the ICU. Taehyung wants to cry, so he does. He bawls and sobs until someone is pulling him into a hug, Taehyung quickly recognizing the scent of Seokjin.

Jimin arrives last, a look of utter guilt and shame on his face, and Hoseok jumps up, walking straight to him, and connecting his fist to Jimin's cheek,

"Jimin!" Taehyung yelled, going to Jimin’s side as the others held Hoseok back.

"You've got some nerve showing up here, after what you said and did. Well, you got your wish! How does it feel? Do you feel like a man?!" Hoseok screeched through tears, the others looking confused.

"Jimin, what's he talking about?" Taehyung asks, pulling said boy to a different area. Jimin feels tears sting his eyes, shakily revealing what he had said to Jungkook. Taehyung looks at him, shocked, then suggests that he leave, promising to update him later. Jimin apologizes and leaves, but Tae's heart feels unusually heavy.

.

It isn't until a week later when they realize the extent of Jungkook's injuries. 

Jungkook wakes up, but has to keep a breathing tube down his throat, preventing him from talking. He gets it removed a few days after, and the boys are excited to talk to the youngest-- that is until,

"Who are you guys?"

The doctor mentioned him having a severe brain injury, "He might get his memory back; he might not. It's split down the middle. 50% of these cases say the patient regains their memory, while the other half with the exact replica of the brain injury never gets it back." He says that Jungkook probably won't even remember what he had for lunch the day prior, something about his memory constantly resetting, and Taehyung finds it hard to breathe.

.

Jungkook gets discharged after a month, once his other injuries have healed, and checked directly into a wellness center. Jungkook gets his own room that he can decorate how he pleases, and the boys help the youngest with it. 

Taehyung keeps as strong and together as he can, holding back choked sobs as Jungkook asks what the older’s name is every other hour.

.

It's almost a year later when Taehyung snaps.

He and Jimin have long since broken up. They still talk, and Jimin occasionally asks for a second chance. Taehyung replies something along the lines of,

"Let me ask Jungkook if he will give you a second chance. If he agrees, then I will, too." to which Jimin loses hope because any time Tae asks Jungkook if he could give Jimin a second chance, it's,

"Who?"

Taehyung is smart towards Jimin, of course. Taehyung doesn't understand how Jimin can even think about a relationship right now, so he replies like a brat even though he knows it's mean. It's not Jimin's fault that Jungkook got into the accident, but Taehyung still finds himself feeling bitter about the entire subject. Taehyung promises himself to forgive Jimin one of these days, maybe even give him a second chance, because Taehyung is light and this bitterness is too dark for him. 

Taehyung often finds himself escaping to Jungkook's room any time the real world becomes a bit too much.

.

The rhythmic beeping is calming to Jungkook, in a world he doesn't understand, one so big and vague.

They give Jungkook some coloring books, paper, crayons, and paint. Tell him that, any time he has a thought, draw. Of course, Jungkook thinks this is odd, as he is always having thoughts. 

More often than not, Taehyung will come to Jungkook’s room, and see nothing but some brown and orange splotches on the papers that Jungkook is given.

"What is this?" Taehyung asks, looking hopeful every time, but he receives the same answer every time, Jungkook looking at him with large, childlike eyes, and a big smile,

"That's nice! Did you do that?"

And Taehyung feels dejected. 

But not today. No, because when Tae asks about Jungkook’s new brown and orange paintings today, Jungkook answers,

"I don't know! I think it's a man... I keep dreaming of a person, but they don't have a face. The person has brown hair, and tan skin, but they didn't give me a tan color, so I just use orange. You know what? His hair kinda looks like yours!"

And Taehyung wants to scream, wants to throw up. Something in the older breaks, and he feels his emotions becoming too hard to contain any longer. Jungkook looks like a little kid wearing dinosaur pj's, sitting criss cross applesauce on his bed, double fisting crayons as he draws in a coloring book. The only adult thing about this scene is the heart monitor attached to him, and before he knows it, Taehyung feels hot tears run down his cheeks.

This is all so wrong, Taehyung knows it. The older feels it in his core. Jungkook hated being babied as they grew up, and all of this: the dinosaur pj’s, the crayons, even the way the nurses hang up his drawing like they're showing off their child-- it's all wrong. Taehyung knows this.

Taehyung knows Jungkook.

He watches Jungkook, the light from outside catching onto the younger in the most beautiful way. Taehyung feels his heart swell, and he knows all too well what it means.

He knows what it means when Jungkook smiles at him, and Taehyung feels his heart beginning to race. Knows what it means when the older looks forward to seeing the younger, regardless of the situation. Knows what it means when Jungkook reaches out to him, and Taehyung feels butterflies in his stomach, meeting Jungkook halfway to grab the younger’s hand. The irony of the situation has Taehyung feeling sick, and the older knows that karma is looking directly into his eyes chanting 'fuck you'.

Taehyung turns, says he has to go and says goodbye, but what Taehyung gets in return isn't the usual,

"Goodbye!--... uh... what did you say your name was?"

No. It's,

"Bye, Tae!" And said man stops. Taehyung is frozen in his tracks, and the tears have halted. The older man slowly turns towards Jungkook, eyes wide. Taehyung looks at Jungkook for a moment, before the younger finally looks up at him, and gives him a bright bunny smile-- the one that has Taehyung’s heart swelling,

And it hits Taehyung hard.

Taehyung is shouting. The older is saying all these things, making large gestures with his hands, but Jungkook continues to smile, and Taehyung realizes that the older hadn't said anything at all, only in his mind. Taehyung panics, knows he is the worst person on this planet right now, yet, the older mentally repeats the same thing over and over as he stares straight into Jungkook’s eyes,

_"Jeon Jungkook, I fucking love you."_


End file.
